The Thief of Comparison

 

I've not posted in the past couple of weeks because I've been really sick. Lots of days in bed, lots of tests, still no answers. My doctor doesn't feel that it's anything serious, but we just don't have any answers yet.  That being said, things around my house have been kind of crazy. And as many of you already know, that can lead to serious "mommy guilt."  

If you've never experienced "mommy guilt" you either a) don't have kids, or b) are a liar. We've all been there. I feel like I haven't done enough fun stuff with my kids lately. I feel like I haven't read enough books to them. I feel like we've taken two extra weeks of spring break because I've been too sick to teach school.  There have been lots of sandwiches and frozen pizzas consumed by my family and not nearly enough outside play time. The laundry keeps piling up. The house is a wreck. I've been grumpy. And as if all that weren't enough, all of these tests and doctor bills are quickly depleting our Disney World savings fund, so that January Disney trip we've been saving for is looking less and less likely  to happen. (I still have hope, though :) When you are a one income household with three small children extra money for things like vacations can be pretty hard to come by, so after working so hard to save for this trip, discovering this new possible reality is an extra hard blow. This list names just a few things that have recently hit me over the head with the "mommy guilt" baseball bat.  

Of course, all of this is made worse by the internet.  Yes, that's right, the internet.  Why is it that when I feel my lowest as a mother, it seems that EVERYONE I know is posting fun and fabulous pictures and status updates on facebook about what they are doing with their kids?  Vacations, trips to the ice cream shop, fun play dates with friends, cool school activities, the list goes on and on. And don't even get me started on pinterest. I love it and have gotten some great ideas off of this site, but lets face it.  Nothing can make you feel like a failure quicker than wall to wall DIY projects that I know I'll probably never have the time, money, or patience to complete. The internet and more specifically, social networking sites, can be a real vehicle for driving ourselves over the "mommy guilt" cliff. This weekend we had a festival  in our small town. All weekend long all I've seen on facebook has been pictures and posts of families having fun there.  What did I do?  I talked my kids into staying home, making homemade pizza, and having a family game night instead, so that we could save money.  Were they disappointed?  NO!  Did they have a blast here at home?  YES!  Did I feel guilty any way?  YOU BET!   We also made the decision this weekend to not purchase season tickets to our local water park like we usually do.  When I asked the kids what they thought about it, they didn't seem to care at all.  But guess what...I STILL feel super GUILTY!!!  I know that all summer long I'll be hearing about other families going to the water park and feel like we are the only ones not out there (which is ENTIRELY UNTRUE!)  It's stuff like this at times like this that make me feel like everyone else has it so together.  It's no fun feeling like my kids' friends (and lets be honest here, my friends too) are all getting to do things that my family cannot afford because I stay home or things that I am not physically able to do at this point due to illness. I've just been a little down in the dumps.  

All of these feelings of inadequacy and even a little bit of jealousy of others has really hit home with me tonight.  God has opened my eyes through the guest speaker's message this evening at church, and then again when I got home through a post on....you guessed it!  The internet!  

   

A friend of mine had pinned the above quote on Pinterest tonight and when I read it I nearly fell out of my chair.  This is SO TRUE!  I cannot get over how true this is.  And how completely it applies to me, especially right now. Part of my purpose in starting this blog was to help build up other mothers. The whole idea of "The Motherhood Box" and the quote posted in the header of this blog goes hand in hand with Mr. Steve Furtick's words above. Comparison is the thief of joy.  As mothers, as wives, as WOMEN we have GOT to STOP comparing ourselves to one another and instead start building one another up.  There is no supermom.  She does not exist.  We are not in competition with one another.  We are on the same team here, girls!  My goal going into this next week is not to look at other mothers and other families and see my own shortcomings.  My goal is to see the good in other peoples' lives and recognize that that's exactly what it is...the GOOD!  I have to remember that even families that seem perfect have days when everyone is late, the kids can't find their shoes, you forget to go to t-ball practice, and lunch consists of goldfish crackers, dry cereal, string cheese, and Sprite.  That's just not the stuff we typically choose to share.  I cannot compare my bad days to someone else's good days and really think that it's a fair comparison. Because I know this is true, I have to focus on not comparing myself at all.  I hope that you are encouraged to do the same!  This week let's just be the mothers that we are RIGHT NOW.  Let's do the very best we can for our families without looking over our shoulders to see if someone else is doing it "better."

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. 

Galatians 6:9

Lines in the Sand: Why My Girls No Longer Wear 2-Piece Swim Suits

Little girls are adorable.  They just are.  They're all giggles and curls.  I love it!  One of my favorite hobbies over the past several years has been dressing my babies.  It's incredibly fun to me.  The adorable options for little girls are endless and this is especially true with summer clothing, in my opinion.  Swimsuits are no exception.

Each summer we take several trips.  The beach with my parents, the coast with Rob's family, sometimes a few more coast trips on our own.  We also have season tickets to a local water park, and usually end up going to several pool parties of one description of another.  To me, all of this adds up to a good reason to stock up on those cute swimsuits for my kiddos!

They've had one-pieces, two-pieces, seersucker, polkadot, smocked, ruffled, monogrammed...you name it, they've had it.  While they do make swimsuits that I consider to be a bit immodest for toddlers and little girls, nothing we've had ever fit that description.  They are all what I considered to be cute, age-appropriate, and INNOCENT!  The idea that I might should consider their swimsuits more carefully had never crossed my mind.

The picture above was taken on an early fall beach trip a couple of years ago.  Just a few hours after the photo was snapped, we were at a popular restaurant, where I just happened to run into an old sorority sister from college.  There was a long wait to be seated, so we had ample opportunity to catch up and chat about kids.  It was during this conversation that she said something that really struck a chord with me.  Her darling toddler daughter (who I was familiar with through photos on their family blog and on facebook) was not allowed to wear two-piece swimsuits.  I smiled and nodded.  My knee-jerk reaction?  I thought it was a little extreme, but not a big deal and NOT my business!  As she continued talking, though, it started making sense.  I can't remember word for word how she explained it, but this is how I remember it.  She told me that she and her husband tried to be aware that the standards they set now, the boundaries they put in place, were lines they were drawing in the sand that they would be dealing with until their child was an adult.  The swimsuit issue was just one of many.  I walked away from that conversation unconvinced in the swimsuit debate.  The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized, that there are two major ways a little thing like swimsuits influence dress codes and how we handle them in our homes for years to come. 

First of all, think about it.  Most, if not all, teenagers push against the boundaries their parents set.  Some boundaries are set early in their lives, some are set as they get older, but they push against them, nonetheless.  Many times, one major area of argument between parents and their adolescents is that of appropriate clothing.  We as parents tend to lean more towards modest clothing (at least THIS parent does!) while teen girls often fight for the right to bare entirely too much (at least THIS one did...a lot has changed as I've gotten older and grown closer to Christ.) The way we dress our girls when they are little is not just a fun pastime.  It is a line drawn in the sand.  A standard that we set.  If we allow them to wear modest two-piece swimsuits when they are three, that same three-year-old may as a teenager rebel and fight for skimpier two-pieces as a teenager.  Her defense?  "I'm not a baby anymore!  Stop trying to dress me like one!"  If I only dress my little girl in one-piece swimsuits, it gives me a lot more room for negotiation, doesn't it?  Don't get me wrong.  So far in our 6+ years as parents, my husband and I have maintained the leadership roles in our home.  Our kids do NOT rule the roost around here.  However, we aren't stupid.  We know tougher days are ahead and we understand the concept of choosing your battles.  This is just an opportunity we have to give ourselves a head start in at least one area.

Second, as I stated in a recent post, our girls are drowning in the culture's message that sex sells and that their value is defined by sex appeal.  If I really believe that modesty is God's design for us and that my daughter is worth more than the sum of her physical parts (and their curves, or lack their of) won't it be easier to instill that in her mind and heart if I haven't bought into the culture by baring her midriff at the ripe old age of two?  Don't misunderstand me!  I'm not saying that toddlers in two-pieces are bound to a life of mini skirts, see-through halter tops, or promiscuity.  I'm not saying that if you don't put your kiddos only in one-pieces you aren't committed to their healthy self-image.  I'm just saying that we as parents DO have a responsibility to think about how even the little things we are doing now might effect our daughters down the road.

It was the end of summer when I had this conversation with my friend.  I contemplated it quite a bit through fall and winter.  When spring rolled around and I began shopping for swimsuits, her words kept ringing in my ears.  I came to this conclusion.  I have no problem with little kids in cute age-appropriete swimsuits of any kind.  I don't feel any guilt or feel that I made a mistake in any of the two-piece swimsuit choices I've made in the past for my daughters.  I'm not saying they will never wear a two-piece again.  I have decided, though, that for as long as I'm the one selecting their wardrobes, swimming and otherwise, I'm going to try my best to be a bit more thoughtful about exactly where I draw my lines in the sand.  As stubborn and rebellious as their parents were, genetically speaking, my girls are quite possibly going to give us a run for our money.  I want to do everything, no matter how insignificant it may seem now, to help them avoid some of our same mistakes.

After all, as many cute swimsuits as there are out there for little girls, it's not like I've had to make some major sacrifice by going all one-piece for the girls.  It's the girl that makes the suit, after all!  My girls are beautiful in whatever they put on.  I want them to know that!
 

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control... with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 

 --I Timothy 2:9-10

Tip Tuesday: From Sea to Shining Sea

Looking for a cheap, quick, easy, and fun way to teach your kids something new?  Invest in a US map-small enough to place on the table, but large enough to see the states clearly.  (These are actually place mats that I purchased for a dollar or two at Wal-Mart).  Once you have that, all you'll need are a few minutes each day (or even just a few times a week) and one of your kids' favorite snacks.  We usually use cereal, such as Froot Loops or Lucky Charms.

To begin, select two or three states to start reviewing with your child.  We started with Washington, Oregon, and California.  The western states are bigger and easier to identify (at least, to me they are).  On the first day, Baby Doll and I just pointed out those three states and said their names.  On day two, I covered the names of those three states with a Froot Loop.  If she could name the state, she got to eat the Froot Loop.  It took her no time to master those three states, so we added another.  Each day or two we add another state.  It only takes a few minutes each morning to go over these and after only a couple of months Baby Doll can identify and name about 20 states.  Bitty wanted to get in on the fun too, so I've gotten her a map of her own.  She can now identify and name 9 states.  Dipper just watches us...and eats Froot Loops :)

We, of course, spend a few minutes working on this each morning during schooling, but obviously, you don't HAVE to homeschool to incorporate this fun and educational activity into your routine.  If you choose to use place mats and cereal, breakfast might be a good time to work on this activity each day.  I hope you have as much fun and success with this as we've had.

Where Have All the Young Girls Gone?

 

I know that posts similar to this one have appeared on "Mommy Blogs" everywhere.  I've pinned several favorites to Pinterest boards myself.  I realize that I'm not saying anything that many parents haven't been saying for years, but I still feel I must say it...Why are we as parents allowing our culture to force our children, but especially our little girls, to grow up before they should? 

To start with, what is up with girls' clothing?  The every day clothing like jeans and dresses are bad enough, but around Halloween it always seems worse because I am always appalled by the costumes I see available, not just for teens and adults (which I think are ridiculous in their own right), I'm talking about the ones for GIRLS!.  Think twelve and under.  Are you all aware of what's out there?  I just did a google search for "tween costumes".  Now for those of you who may not be familiar with the term "tween" here's the Wikipedia definition:

 Tween is a word that typically refers to a person who is between the ages of 9 to 12 years old (although some say the range is 8 to 12, 9 to 14, or 9 to 13, or 11 and 12), in grades 5-7 or 4-8.^[1] The term is often described in popular media as referring to a pre-adolescent (usually female) who is at the "in-between" stage in their development when they are considered "too old for toys, too young for boys".^[2][3][4] The "tween" stage usually ends with the onset of puberty, though this may vary.

Now, that being said, check out the images below.  These are just a sampling of what I have to look forward to in the next couple of years for my girls...

I hesitated as to whether or not I even wanted these images posted on my blog.  There were some that came up in my search that I would NOT post here.  Yes, you did read that correctly.  There are costumes worse than these available for shipment straight to my front door in sizes that would only be slightly too big for my KINDERGARTENER!!!!! 

This makes me SO ANGRY!!!!!!  Not just as the mother of two girls, but as the mother of a boy as well.  If our culture is brainwashing our girls to think that their value is defined by how "sexy" they can make themselves appear to be, even at a young age, what does that do to our boys?  If we are teaching our girls that they should want to BE sexy, we are also teaching our boys that they should WANT sexy.  I for one don't want that to be on my kids minds while they're on the playground.  The clothing available in stores, the models we see in magazines, the recording artists we see in videos, actors in movies...we live in a culture where all of these things are influencing how our girls see themselves.  They are also influencing how our boys see the females in their lives.  Our children's ideas of marriage, relationships, life, and all things relating to the opposite sex are being shaped every day by these images we are putting in front of them. 

So, maybe you're thinking, "Well, I agree.  I would never let my girls dress like this."  Good for you.  But do you let your daughters (or your sons!) watch television programs with girls (of any age) dressed like this?  Or girls behaving provocatively.  Or boys going after the girl who dresses or behaves in this manner.  You're thinking, "Oh, it's harmless.  It's a kids show for crying out loud!"  Okay.  Fine, but...

If it's behavior you wouldn't want your children to display at this point in their lives, at this age, why in the world would you allow them to watch it on television?   

  We are all responsible as parents for making decisions when it comes to raising our children.  So, the next time your television set is on and your kids are in the room ask yourself this question, "If tomorrow I walked in on my child doing what the person on my tv screen is doing at this exact moment, would I be okay with it?"  We need to ask ourselves these questions because the reality is if we allow stuff like this to be viewed by our children we have no one to blame but ourselves when we see the same behavior show up in our homes.  
 

 I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless.
I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me.

Psalm 101:3

It's time to stop and examine not just what is appropriate, but what is AGE appropriate.  If you happen to think that fifteen year olds making out on their parents couch is harmless and don't mind your child seeing it on television that is your business.  But would you think your eleven year old making out on your couch is okay?  If not then why is your eleven year old allowed to watch that behavior.  We've got to start getting real and taking our jobs as parents seriously.  By giving them so much FREEDOM to grow up so fast, we are taking away their FREEDOM to be innocent.

Above all else, guard your heart, 

for everything you do flows from it.  

Proverbs 4:23

If you think our girls are growing up too fast, click on the image below for the link to another post you should read:

We Pray For the Children

 

A friend's facebook post brought this poem to mind this morning.  I used to have it framed and hanging in my classroom.  It has always struck a tender chord with me.  We really MUST pray for the all the children.

 A Prayer for the Children

by: Ina J. Hughs

We pray for the children who put chocolate fingers on everything, who love to be tickled, who stomp in puddles and ruin new pants, who eat candy before supper and who can never find their shoes in the morning.

And we also pray for those who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire, who have never bound down the street in a new pair of shoes, who never played "one potato, two potato," and who are born in places that we would not be caught dead in and they will be.

We pray for the children who give us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions, who sleep with their dog and who bury their goldfish, who hug us so tightly and who forget their lunch money, who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink, who watch their fathers shave, and who slurp their soup.

And we pray for those who will never get dessert, who have no favorite blanket to drag around behind them, who watch their fathers suffer, who cannot find any bread to steal, who do not have any rooms to clean up, whose pictures are on milk cartons instead of on dressers, and whose monsters are real.

We pray for the children who spend all their allowance by Tuesday, who pick at their food, who love ghost stories, who shove their dirty clothes under the bed and never rinse the bathtub, who love visits from the Tooth Fairy, even after they find out who it really is, who do not like to be kissed in front of the school bus, and who squirm during services.

And we also pray for those children whose nightmares occur in the daytime, who will eat anything, who have never seen a dentist, who are not spoiled by anyone, who go to bed hungry and wake up hungry, who live and move and have no address.

We pray for those children who like to be carried and for those children who have to be carried, for those who give up and for those who never give up, for those who will grab the hand of anyone kind enough to offer it and for those who find no hand to grab.

For all these children, we pray today, for they are all so precious.

See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face 

of my Father who is in heaven. 

Matthew 18:10

Homeschooling: How We Got Here

 

 My whole life has been a close relationship with the classroom.  I attended preschool, kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, high school, college.  Then I went on to teach myself.  I would say that most, if not all, of my experiences in the classroom were positive ones.  (My husband, on the other hand, hated school for most of his life, but that's a different story.)  We both agreed that school was the right place to send kids once they got to be a certain age.  That's what we had done.  That's what they would do.  It made sense, right?

I am a school teacher by trade and by calling.  I always knew it's what I wanted to be.  I was not one of those people who chose this career so that I could get two weeks off at Christmas, a week at spring break and a couple of months in the summer.  I loved teaching.  It defined who I was.  I wanted more than anything to be able to stay home with my babies when they were little, but after that, what I wanted more than anything was to be back in the classroom.  

I love school.  I love the smell of construction paper.  I love the order, structure, and routine of it.  I love having my own class, my own "little ducks to get in a row" every morning.  I loved almost EVERYTHING about teaching, especially the CHILDREN!  The only parts of school that I did NOT love were state testing, lesson plans, and documentation...but to me, those weren't part of teaching.  Those were just the distracting hoops I was required to jump through for them to allow me to do the other stuff.  The stuff I loved. I say all of this to tell you I was excited for my kids to go to school.  I was excited for them, because I had always enjoyed school and felt that they would, too.  I was also excited for me.  I was probably MORE excited for me, to be honest.  Anyway, the plan was for the kids to go to school.  Public, private, Christian...that was the question. Those were our options.

I've explained how I've felt about school.  Now, let me explain how I've always felt about homeschooling.  I thought it was a bad idea.  I thought this for basically all of the same reasons other people ever think that it's a bad idea....lack of socialization, they'll get behind, they'll get too far ahead, they'll be alienated, homeshooled kids are weird...I don't know where I got these ideas.  I knew only a very few kids who had been homeschooled and these ideas weren't true of MOST of them.  Where did I get these ideas?  How does anyone form these opinions on little, if any, real experience or knowledge on the subject?  Regardeless, those WERE my thoughts on the matter.  What changed?  Well, I think back to the defining moment when it began.  The moment when God truly started working on my heart about this mission he would send me on.  Rob and I had only been married for a few months.  His mother and I were talking and in the context of our conversation I made the statement, "I would never homeschool my kids.  I want my kids to be normal."  My mother-in-law's response was, "Normal compared to what?"

She did not mean the statement to be a profound and thought-provoking one.  It just was.  I started thinking about what "normal" looked like in my second grade classroom.  I started thinking, not about the "cream of the crop" bright, cute, kids from "good" families, but about what "normal" in my classroom really was.  I realized for the first time ever that "normal" was not what I wanted my kids to be.  No big deal.  So I didn't want "normal."  I still didn't want to homeschool my kids.  What I should have said was,  that I didn't want my kids to be weird.  That's what homeschooled kids are, right?

This conversation took place in the fall of 2005.  I didn't even have kids yet, but for the next five years, God got my attention about homeschooling in similar ways.  A friend from college would post an article on facebook that would catch my eye.  My brother-in-law ended up dating and eventually marrying one of those "socially stunted homeschool girls" (I can say that because she knows I'm joking ;).  I would end up in random, casual conversations that would turn towards the subject for no reason at all.  Through all of this, Rob and I were praying about where to send Baby Doll to school.  

When we were asked the million dollar question of where she would go, we always said that we were looking at all of our options.  There are two public schools in our little town, two private schools and a Christian school within driving distance that we were seriously considering.  We would sometimes even casually say that we hadn't even taken homeschool off the table as an option...but, we didn't mean it.  

After several years of God working on my heart and mind to adjust my views about homeschooling, He really started turning up the heat in the fall of 2010.  It seemed that every day or two something else was happening to point me towards homeschooling.  I started lying awake at night thinking about it.  I would weigh what I thought were the pros and cons, always ending with excuses for why it was just not a good idea for us.  I talked to no one about what I was going through.  Not even my husband.  I was terrified that once I said it out loud, I would have to do it.  And I did NOT want to do this.  Not at all.  I wanted my kids to go to school!  I wanted to chaperone field trips!  I wanted to bring cupcakes on their birthdays!  I wanted to be homeroom mom!  (Notice, all of these sentences begin with "I wanted".)  Then in April 2011 I finally broke down.

I had a full day out and about here in town and had run into several different people.  These were people I didn't normally see.  With every single one of them, the conversation almost immediately, for no apparent reason, shifted to homeschooling.  By the time we got the kids to bed that night I was a nervous wreck.  I sat down on the couch in tears and told Rob that we needed to talk.  It all came spilling out.  The sleepless nights, the conversations, the online research, the lists of pros and cons.  Rob's response?  He started on the full list of excuses of why he thought it was a bad idea.  I told him he didn't need to convince me.  I agreed with him.  I didn't need him to talk me out of it.  Here was where the problem...

We had been praying literally for years that God would lead us towards HIS plan for our children's education.  We just felt really comfortable and confident that HIS plan would match up with OUR plan.  Homeschooling did NOT match our plan.  My concern was that for us to ask God to show us His will and then to IGNORE what He seemed to be showing us...wasn't that kind of dangerous?  Were we playing with fire?  We made a commitment that night to pray about homeschool specifically.  That God would make it obvious to us what He wanted us to do and that He would change our hearts about it, IF homeschool WAS what He had planned for us.  I also committed to learn as much as I could on the subject.  Hence this collection of books.  And this isn't all of them, folks!

The fact is, as soon as we started praying about this, He IMMEDIATELY started answering our prayers.  It was like he had just been waiting all of this time to do that for us!  It still shocks me how quickly Rob and I BOTH agreed that homeschooling was a viable option, and then our attitudes towards it changed tremendously.  What I was discovering in "doing my homework" on the subject did help, but it was more than that.  The head knowledge had been telling me for a long time that it was a good idea.  Now my heart was believing it too.  (FYI:  Do a google search for "why you shouldn't homeschool" or "why homeschooling is bad".  There's absolutely nothing out there, other than opinion pieces.  No research.  Nothing concrete.  All you can find is people giving you their opinions and I've yet to find one who actually even gave an explanation as to how they even formed their opinions.  It's still kind of shocking to me.  ALL of the research I can find just confirms that homeschooling is a GREAT option worth considering, both academically and socially.  More on this in the future.  I promise!)

The closer we got to finally making an actual decision about it, the more I felt at peace that it was the right thing for us to do.  However, I also became more and more nervous about what people were going to think.  I didn't want to be "that family."  I didn't want to be asked where my kids go to school only to see those patronizing expressions on other mothers' faces as I watched them mentally size me up as this denim jumper wearing, goat raising, homemade bread baking woman with kids who must definitely be completely socially stunted.  (I DO bake, but I do NOT own a denim jumper.)  I didn't want it for my kids, but if I'm completely honest I really didn't want it for ME.  I told my husband about these feelings.  His response..."What if we are supposed to be 'that family'?  What if there are other families out there that God is calling to do this, but they aren't brave enough or bold enough to take the road less traveled?  What if the sole reason He is bringing our family on this adventure is so that we can cut a path for others?"  My response..."I don't want to take the road less traveled.  I want to get on the interstate with everyone else I know.  I want a well lit, paved road.  I'm afraid of the dark and I don't like bumpy trips."  Selfish?  Yes.  Petty?  Yes.  Honest?  YES!!!!!  This was a big fat experience of having to accept not being able to fit into the "motherhood box" that most of my friends were in.  It was uncomfortable and it was scary, but for our family, we knew it was RIGHT!

 

The days passed.  We made the final decision to homeschool and we started telling our friends and family.  We met some opposition.  Some of it came from people I expected to oppose our plans.  The source of some of our opposition shocked me.  Probably the biggest surprise was when people who barely knew me would tell me what I was doing was a horrible idea.  Yes, this happened.  Some people really have no filter between their brain and their mouth.  Some positive reactions we received surprised me, as well.  The truth is, though, the more people we told, regardless of their reaction, the more peace we felt.  

So, here we are.  About to finish up our first year of homeschooling.  How long will we do it?  Who knows!!!  Some days I would tell you that I couldn't imagine ever doing anything else.  Other times I say we might enroll them for third grade.  Or sixth grade.  Or ninth grade.  Or eleventh grade.  The other night I asked Rob as we were lying in bed if he thought we'd ever send them to "regular school."  He said, "Well, they'll probably go to college."  We both laughed.  The truth is, we can't answer that question.  I mean after all, if someone had asked us a few years ago we'd have told them we would never homeschool. 

There will be plenty more posts about homeschooling in the future.  I have so much I want to share on the subject that it was almost physically painful for me to limit this post as much as I did, even though it is incredibly long.  There are so many misconceptions that people have that I desperately want to clear up....one post at a time :)  

If you are interested in learning more about homeschooling here are a couple of books I highly recommend out of the TONS that I have read in the past few years, these are the ones I think are the most useful.  As in

my previous posts, you can click on the images below to order these books from Amazon.  

"I have used the words "home schooling" to describe the process by which children grow and learn in the world without going, or going very much, to schools, because those words are familiar and quickly understood. But in one very important sense they are misleading. What is most important and valuable about the home as a base for children's growth in the world is not that it is a better school than the schools but that it isn't a school at all. "

~John Holt~ Teach Your Own

Time Will Tell

 As parents we break our backs to enroll our kids in tee ball, soccer, dance class, gymnastics, piano lessons, upwards basketball, art lessons, scouting...the list goes on and on.  But 20 years from now do we really expect to have professional ball players, Olympic gymnasts, or concert pianists on our hands?  Why are we investing so much of our time and so much of our children's time, in activities that are fun, but that won't matter by the time most of them reach adulthood.  Sure, I know, playing ball teaches sportsmanship.  Gymnastics and dance are good forms of exercise.  I'm not saying these activities don't have value, but think about it...what is it that you want for your kids?  Academic success?  Athletic awards?  Trophies from gym meets?  A closet full of dance recital costumes?  Many times when asked this question, we say things like, "I want my child to be happy," or "I want them to have a good life," or even, "I want them to be a good person."  The reality is, as parents we all want those things for those kids.  The deeper, and more significant part of that reality, though is that if you know Christ-I mean REALLY know Him-you also know that having a living, breathing relationship with Him is key to really having this "good life" that we want for them.  Living in God's will IS the good life!  Without Him, sure, we can experience good things here on earth.  We can have friends, family, rewarding careers, etc., but these are things we can lose in the blink of an eye.  Friends move away.  Family members die.  Jobs come and go.  The glory days of football games, piano recitals, and scouting awards will end with high school for most kids, and will end with college for most of the rest.  What's left when all of the relationships and activities and excitement and happiness of life are over, or at the very least, have changed into something we don't recognize?  JESUS!  That's what's left. That's what matters. 

Jesus Christ:  the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Hebrews 13:8

 If we believe that, we need to ask ourselves if we are really living what we believe.  Do our lives show evidence of this?  Where we spend our time shows what is most important to us.  Where we allow (or even push) our children to spend their time, shows them what we think is important for them.  What are we teaching our kids to view as important?

My girls take dance lessons.  Baby Doll seems so far to be really gifted in math.  Bitty is an enthusiastic (if not talented) gymnast.  Dipper's latest aspiration appears to be race car driving.  Do we encourage them and try to provide them with every opportunity to develop and excel in the areas they are gifted or seem to enjoy?  Absolutely (well, I'm not sure I'll encourage race car driving, but I've got some time on that one).  But these activities are not the highest on our list of priorities.  I believe that if I did everything possible to make sure my girls had dance lessons, but did so at the expense of leaving out a spiritually developing activity like Sunday School or Awana Club, that would be a great failure on my part as a mother.  If we have time for dance and gym and tee-ball and soccer and art lessons...GREAT!  But only after we have made time for the activities that encourage them towards the only relationship and knowledge that will ultimately matter.

Where are you investing your kids' time?  Think about it.  Find programs in your area that teach and encourage your child about what you want them to value.

For where your treasure is there will your heart be also.

Matthew 6:21 

So, are the wheels upstairs turning?  Are you wracking your brain trying to come up with activities (besides just Sunday School) to bring your children closer to God?  Many of you have already heard me sing the praises of the Awana Club.  This is a children/youth program that my church began this year and my family LOVES it!  If you aren't familiar with Awana the best way I can think of to describe it is that it's like a combination of VBS, Bible Drills, and Boy/Girl Scouts.  The kids have game time (playing in the church gym), whole group (lesson and worship time) and handbook time (this is where they say verses they have memorized to earn badges.)

There are classes for all kids, ages 2-18.  My oldest two (4 and 6 years old) have memorized more than 50 verses this year between the two of them.  They LOVE Awana!  If your family isn't involved in this program I really want to encourage you to look into it.  

If you aren't sure if there is an Awana Club in your area, click on the image below to locate the nearest one. 

If you are interested in starting an Awana Club in your community, or just would like to know a little bit more about it, click on the link below for more general information.

My husband and I had worked with the school age children at our church for several years.  I felt like we needed to change up our Wednesday night activities a little bit, and I'd heard of Awana, so I started looking into it.  I'll be honest.  I had somehow gotten the crazy idea that Awana was going to be easy and not be very demanding on us.  Well, I was wrong.  I look back now and realize that God allowed me to fool myself into believing that because if I'd realized how much work it was going to end up meaning for me, I NEVER would have even considered it.  That would have been a HUGE mistake!!!  Awana has been worth every single second.  Every single ounce of time and energy that I, and everyone else, have put into it.  Of course, because I was the one who had the brilliant idea to check out this great program, I ended up being the one in charge.  Of the WHOLE thing.  For ages 2-18.  Overwhelming?  YES!  Worth it?  YES!!!!!!  I cannot say enough about how much of a blessing working with this program as our club's "Commander" (I HATE that title, BTW) has been for me, not to mention how much I have been blessed as a mother in watching my children grow in their love and knowledge of Christ. 

Are you interested in doing Awana with your own kids, but aren't too sure about getting a whole club started?  I have great news :)  Awana offers a homeschool kit with all of the curriculum resources you will need to go through the material at home.  What a great family time activity this would be!  If you are interested in learning more about trying Awana at home with your own family click the link below.

I hope nothing I've said here has offended anyone, but I hope it has made you think.  I have the feeling that this will be my closing to a LOT of posts on this blog.  I also hope that anyone and everyone reading will always realize that if something I say convicts YOU, you can rest assured that it convicted ME first.  That's how I ended up writing about it.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.  John 16:33