Each summer we take several trips. The beach with my parents, the coast with Rob's family, sometimes a few more coast trips on our own. We also have season tickets to a local water park, and usually end up going to several pool parties of one description of another. To me, all of this adds up to a good reason to stock up on those cute swimsuits for my kiddos!
They've had one-pieces, two-pieces, seersucker, polkadot, smocked, ruffled, monogrammed...you name it, they've had it. While they do make swimsuits that I consider to be a bit immodest for toddlers and little girls, nothing we've had ever fit that description. They are all what I considered to be cute, age-appropriate, and INNOCENT! The idea that I might should consider their swimsuits more carefully had never crossed my mind.
The picture above was taken on an early fall beach trip a couple of years ago. Just a few hours after the photo was snapped, we were at a popular restaurant, where I just happened to run into an old sorority sister from college. There was a long wait to be seated, so we had ample opportunity to catch up and chat about kids. It was during this conversation that she said something that really struck a chord with me. Her darling toddler daughter (who I was familiar with through photos on their family blog and on facebook) was not allowed to wear two-piece swimsuits. I smiled and nodded. My knee-jerk reaction? I thought it was a little extreme, but not a big deal and NOT my business! As she continued talking, though, it started making sense. I can't remember word for word how she explained it, but this is how I remember it. She told me that she and her husband tried to be aware that the standards they set now, the boundaries they put in place, were lines they were drawing in the sand that they would be dealing with until their child was an adult. The swimsuit issue was just one of many. I walked away from that conversation unconvinced in the swimsuit debate. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized, that there are two major ways a little thing like swimsuits influence dress codes and how we handle them in our homes for years to come.
First of all, think about it. Most, if not all, teenagers push against the boundaries their parents set. Some boundaries are set early in their lives, some are set as they get older, but they push against them, nonetheless. Many times, one major area of argument between parents and their adolescents is that of appropriate clothing. We as parents tend to lean more towards modest clothing (at least THIS parent does!) while teen girls often fight for the right to bare entirely too much (at least THIS one did...a lot has changed as I've gotten older and grown closer to Christ.) The way we dress our girls when they are little is not just a fun pastime. It is a line drawn in the sand. A standard that we set. If we allow them to wear modest two-piece swimsuits when they are three, that same three-year-old may as a teenager rebel and fight for skimpier two-pieces as a teenager. Her defense? "I'm not a baby anymore! Stop trying to dress me like one!" If I only dress my little girl in one-piece swimsuits, it gives me a lot more room for negotiation, doesn't it? Don't get me wrong. So far in our 6+ years as parents, my husband and I have maintained the leadership roles in our home. Our kids do NOT rule the roost around here. However, we aren't stupid. We know tougher days are ahead and we understand the concept of choosing your battles. This is just an opportunity we have to give ourselves a head start in at least one area.
Second, as I stated in a recent post, our girls are drowning in the culture's message that sex sells and that their value is defined by sex appeal. If I really believe that modesty is God's design for us and that my daughter is worth more than the sum of her physical parts (and their curves, or lack their of) won't it be easier to instill that in her mind and heart if I haven't bought into the culture by baring her midriff at the ripe old age of two? Don't misunderstand me! I'm not saying that toddlers in two-pieces are bound to a life of mini skirts, see-through halter tops, or promiscuity. I'm not saying that if you don't put your kiddos only in one-pieces you aren't committed to their healthy self-image. I'm just saying that we as parents DO have a responsibility to think about how even the little things we are doing now might effect our daughters down the road.
It was the end of summer when I had this conversation with my friend. I contemplated it quite a bit through fall and winter. When spring rolled around and I began shopping for swimsuits, her words kept ringing in my ears. I came to this conclusion. I have no problem with little kids in cute age-appropriete swimsuits of any kind. I don't feel any guilt or feel that I made a mistake in any of the two-piece swimsuit choices I've made in the past for my daughters. I'm not saying they will never wear a two-piece again. I have decided, though, that for as long as I'm the one selecting their wardrobes, swimming and otherwise, I'm going to try my best to be a bit more thoughtful about exactly where I draw my lines in the sand. As stubborn and rebellious as their parents were, genetically speaking, my girls are quite possibly going to give us a run for our money. I want to do everything, no matter how insignificant it may seem now, to help them avoid some of our same mistakes.
After all, as many cute swimsuits as there are out there for little girls, it's not like I've had to make some major sacrifice by going all one-piece for the girls. It's the girl that makes the suit, after all! My girls are beautiful in whatever they put on. I want them to know that!
Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable
apparel, with modesty and self-control... with what is proper for women who
profess godliness—with good works.
--I Timothy 2:9-10
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